You’re answering messages, meeting deadlines, helping people out with all sorts of problems. Then you finally get to sit down and your mind starts going through the list of things you think you could have done better.
And rest is a very uneasy thing. Even the smallest of decisions can be a drain. On the quietest of days, you struggle to switch off
If that sounds familiar then CBT could be of some help. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you understand the patterns in your thinking and your behaviour and then trying out different ways of responding. It’s a very practical place to start for women who are experiencing anxiety, exhaustion and/or constant self criticism.
What is CBT and how can it support women?
CBT tries to understand how your thoughts, your feelings, your body, and your behavior influence one another. With a therapist you become aware of the patterns, you look at your beliefs and you make changes that are in line with your goals.
If you’re expecting criticism you may well put off the conversation. Simply putting it off gives your anxieties more time to grow. Therapy can help you get ready for the conversation and take it in small manageable steps.
CBT for women will use all of these well-established principles but will also take into account your particular circumstances. Your health, your culture, your relationships, your work and any experience of discrimination are all relevant. The therapy should take that into account.
How CBT Helps Women Manage Anxiety
Anxiety can make uncertainty absolutely terrifying. You’ll probably replay conversations in your head, constantly ask for reassurance, and put off decisions because you’re afraid of getting it wrong.
CBT for anxiety can help you look at the thoughts behind your reactions. What are you afraid might happen? What is it that makes you think that? What else could happen instead?
Your actions count as well. With your therapist you can gradually face the things you’ve been avoiding. The steps will be appropriate to you and your circumstances.
Progress could mean going to the event even if you’re a bit nervous, asking a question or making a decision without constantly second-guessing it.
CBT for Burnout and Stress
Burnout has a specific meaning in health guidance: the effects of chronic workplace stress, including exhaustion, detachment from work, and reduced effectiveness. Exhaustion from caregiving and other responsibilities also deserves attention.
When women seek CBT for burnout, therapy may explore habits that add to the strain. Perhaps you accept extra work because saying no brings guilt. Or you keep working through breaks because stopping feels irresponsible.
CBT for stress management can include examining those beliefs, rehearsing conversations about workload, and planning realistic opportunities for recovery.
Your working conditions matter. An excessive workload, inadequate support, or discrimination may require practical changes and resources alongside therapy.
CBT for Burnout and Stress
Burnout is the effect of long-term stress at work (i.e. feeling exhausted, disengaged from your job and less effective). Being worn out from caring is equally important.
When women go in for CBT for burnout, the therapy can be looking at the very habits that make it worse. You might be the sort of person who takes on more work because saying no feels guilty. You might be the sort of person who just won’t take a break because stopping feels wrong.
CBT for stress can help you look at those beliefs, practise talking about your workload and plan some real opportunities to recover.
Your working situation is important. If you’re overworked, under supported or suffering from discrimination then you may need real changes and additional support rather than just therapy.
CBT for Perfectionism
Wanting to do well can become painful when every outcome feels like a verdict on your worth.
You might delay starting a task, keep checking completed work, or dwell on an ordinary mistake. You can end up putting off doing the job altogether, you can end up checking your work constantly or you can end up spending all your time on the little things.
CBT for perfectionism helps you look at the kind of rigid rules that ‘if I need help then I’ve failed’.
With your therapist, you can figure out what these rules are costing you and work towards more flexible expectations. You might also try a small experiment, such as setting a timer on a routine activity.
Over time it helps you go after the meaningful goals with far less fear and harsh self judgement.
CBT for Negative Thinking and Overthinking
A rather nasty thought can come so fast it seems absolutely true.
“I sounded awkward.”
“They must be disappointed.”
“I should be dealing with this properly.”
CBT for negative thinking helps you to stop and look at those thoughts. It teaches you to separate reality from the story you tell yourself. A worry may well be pointing to a real problem that needs to be addressed. It may just be your mind making up a quite painful interpretation of something that’s actually happened.
CBT for overthinking can help you become aware of when going over and over something isn’t going to help at all. You and your therapist can work through this by practicing taking action or simply bringing your attention back to the present.
A Simple Example of CBT in Everyday Life
Imagine you say no to an extra favour because your week is absolutely packed. Later on you feel guilty and think “I’ve been selfish”.
A thought record can help you look at what happened in that moment:
- I said I couldn’t take on another commitment.
- Name the feeling and the thought: I feel guilty and I’m calling myself selfish.
- Look at the evidence: I care about this person. I also have very limited time and energy.
- Develop a balanced response: I can care about someone and be totally honest about my availability.
- Pick an action: Stick to your boundary and respond kindly if you need to talk about it again.
In therapy you can look at the actual request and your relationship before you decide what a fair response is.
What to Expect When Starting CBT
You start off by talking about what’s been difficult, how it’s impacted your day to day life and what you’d like to change. You and your therapist will work together to set clear goals.
Your aims may be to spend less time worrying about things before you go to bed or to check things less frequently.
In a session you might talk about a recent situation, work on a skill and pick something small to try before your next appointment and then talk about how that went and tweak it accordingly.
Let your therapist know if an exercise seems confusing, unrealistic or difficult to fit into your week. Your feedback is invaluable in shaping the process.
Frequently Asked Questions
Question: Is CBT for women a different kind of therapy?
Answer: The primary methods are the same. They can be tailored to your own life experience, your own priorities and the pressures you’re under. To be a woman doesn’t mean you have to follow just one approach.
Question: Does CBT mean that you replace every negative thought with a positive one?
Answer: CBT encourages you to think accurately and find balance. A useful response will acknowledge the real problems, will take into account the facts, your options and what might help.
Question: Can CBT help if my stressful circumstances remain the same?
Answer: CBT can help you to cope, can help you to solve some problems and can provide you with support. It may be that lasting relief will also require changes to your workload, your relationships, your resources and so on which you can’t deal with on your own.
Question: How long does CBT take?
Answer: The length of CBT will be down to your concerns, your goals and how you respond. Your therapist will work with you to establish a starting point and then review your progress, rather than give you a fixed length of time. CBT at Good Karma Therapy
You can start therapy simply by saying “I’m fed up with feeling this much pressure”.
If you’re thinking about CBT therapy in Newark, Delaware, reach out to Good Karma Therapy to talk about your concerns and learn about your options. Your first step is just a conversation about what you need.